Angol humor - viccgyűjtemény
Science lecture
A famous scientist was on his way to a lecture in yet another university when his chauffeur offered an idea.
"Hey, boss, I've heard your speech so many times I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off."
"Sounds great," the scientist said. When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
"Yes," said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question. The chauffeur was panic stricken for a moment but quickly recovered.
"That's an easy one," he replied. "In fact, it's so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it!"
Afraid of Santa Claus?
Question: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
The ocean and the beach
Question: What did the ocean say to the beach?
Answer: Nothing, it just waved.
Just one copy
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 pm when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder. "I just need one copy."
I am
The English teacher says, "Mary, I'd like you to give me a sentence beginning with 'I', please."
Mary thinks for a few seconds and then says, "I is..."
The teacher interrupts her, "No Mary, you cannot begin a sentence with 'I is' - you must use 'I am'."
"But Miss..." Mary tries to say.
The teacher shouts, "Give me a sentence beginning with 'I am', please."
Mary shruggs her shoulders and says, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
